All My Muses
by Myraku Kiriaku
Summary: We all love my author's notes, don't we? Well, how about a whole fic that consists of them! Chaos ensues! Lloyd's trapped in the GCN, it's all Doopliss' fault, and will Kratos have a nervous breakdown! 'Tis a Multicross!


-All My Muses-

Me: Morning, guys…

Lloyd: (Yawns) Yo…

En: O.o OMG, LLOYD, DO YOU HAVE BEDHEAD?!

Lloyd: Eh…?

Me: No, En… Your vision is impaired because you're high on Smarties… How many of those have you had in such little time…?

En: (Looks around) Mehehehehe…

Me: 'Mehehehehe' isn't a number, En. Now, tell me!

En: …Only 23… (Smiles innocently)

Me: Oh, for the love of Pete…

Lloyd: O.o MYRA'S IN LOVE WITH A GUY NAMED PETE?!

En: You mean that guy from Fall Out Boy?!

Me: No, you blockheads! Ugh… I'm a-gonna do something to entertain myself…

Lloyd: You mean torture everyone else, like you always do?

Me: Again, NO, YOU BLOCKHEAD!!! Ugh! (Storms out of room)

(I own none of this!)

* * *

-Chapter One: Doomsday-

It was a beautiful day. The birds were chirping, the sky was clear and free of most clouds, and the wind chill was just _so_ perfect that it felt as if it were a spring day. The flowers bloomed and the trees were green.

But, that's not where our story begins.

Our story begins underground in a dimly lit basement, spiders and creepy crawlies running freely. A blue haired, blue eyed girl laughed maniacally as she poured the contents of a cup into yet another and back again. The contents glowed an eerie green color and hissed with each toss. The girl smiled, her black cloak and its shoulder pads glowing malevolently.

That girl mainly being me! Myraku Kiriaku, at your service!

"MEH-hahahahahaha!!!!!" I laughed, tossing the concoction back and forth. Footsteps shortly made their way to my ears. Thinking it was my Dad, I shouted, "Hey, Dad! The cat barfed up his lunch again!" I waited. The footsteps continued, but I didn't hear the normal cursing. Shrugging, I returned to my concoction. The door swung open in a few moments, revealing… "Oh, hey Kratos! Sorry, I thought you were my Dad." I smiled sheepishly, then pointed to a yellow wet spot on the floor, still holding the cups. "But yeah, I was serious about that cat barf thing. You might wanna be careful." Kratos grimaced and pulled his leg back on the carpet.

"Ugh… That cat must be seriously ill…" Kratos mumbled. He straightened and became serious. "Myraku, the others wanted me to ask you where to… er… 'call out' from, whatever that is."

"Oh, it's that time already?" I blinked. "Ok, tell the guys I'll be up in a minute." Kratos nodded and left the room, and I drank the bubbling, maybe even POISONOUS concoction. "Ahh… That really hit the spot. I _love_ mixing Gatorade!" I giggled. Carefully stepping over the puddle of my cat's lunch, I ran up and out of the basement.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!! I WAS ABOUT TO BEAT GANON AND YOU FREAKING TURNED THE GAME CUBE OFF!!!"

"Did not!"

"Oh, so what are you suggesting?! That the GCN magically turned itself off on its own?!"

"No! I told you, a Nargol did it!"

"What are Nargols?!"

"I don't know!"

Apparently, Rayman had shut off the Game Cube when Lloyd was playing it, severely ticking Lloyd off. _That's it,_ I thought. _They'll go on like this for days, thus making the argument unhealthy. Time to settle this…_

I pushed their chests away from one another, thus ending the glare fight. "Ok, you guys. Rayman turned off the Game Cube and SOMEONE was playing my Naruto file!" Don't ask me why, but I always make a file called Naruto in my Legend of Zelda games… "I don't even know HOW you learned how to beat Ganondork, Lloyd."

"Er…" Lloyd shrugged sheepishly. "Monkey see monkey do…?"

I smiled. Who could resist Lloyd's guilty look? "Good monkey." I patted him on the back.

"Hey, why do you pet Lloyd and yell at me?" Rayman whined.

"Maybe it's because I'm not a cheating, no-good… uh… whatever! You're still dead!" Lloyd snapped. Rayman only had a second to process this before he was chased after, books and various pieces of furniture flying his way every now and then. "YOU LITTLE RAT!!! GET BACK HERE, DA--IT!!!" Lloyd roared. He accidentally stepped on the beamer which Doopliss had been tampering with.

"Uh-oh…" Rayman muttered, turning in time to see the machine turn on. It whirred in a crude manner, and Doopliss peered from his work, dumbstruck.

"YOU IDIOT!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEP ON THIS THING WHILE I'M FIXING IT?!" Doopliss shrieked in panic. "Rayman! Do something!!!"

"How do I know what to do?!" Rayman snapped. "_You're_ the techno geek!"

"I am NOT a techno geek!" Doopliss shot back. "Besides! That's better than being an armless freak!"

"WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY?!?!" Rayman roared, Mana almost visibly burning around him.

"Ah… Um… Nothing!" Doopliss replied nervously, just now remembering my warnings of not making fun of Rayman's appearance.

"Excuse me, you two, but I believe Lloyd's in danger?!" I snapped, turning to the now transparent Lloyd.

"Ah… W- What do I do?!" Lloyd asked in panic. "Am I going to cease to exist?!"

"No." I frowned shaking my head slightly. "At the most, your molecules will be spread out across the fabrics of time."

"In English, please…?" Lloyd asked. He let out a small yelp as he continued to fade.

"In other words," Rayman summed up, "at the very worst, tiny pieces of your body will float through space."

"I DON'T LIKE THAT IDEA!!!" Lloyd cried. "Get me out of this thing! Dad! Help!"

"There's nothing anyone can do…" I muttered. "Lloyd… We'll do our best to get you back, but in the mean time, if you survive the teleportation, don't die. We'll help you in any ways possible." I could tell he wasn't very assured, but he was comfortable knowing I was taking this seriously. The last of his time on this planet was spent, and the three of us held our breaths as Lloyd disappeared. "Neh… This is just great… How do we explain _this_ one to Kratos?"

"Explain _what_ to _whom_?!" said mercenary snapped. My blood went cold.

"Oh… Umm… Hi, Kratos…" I muttered guiltily, staring at the floor and nervously moving my foot in a circle. "Well… You see…"

"No, it's alright…" Kratos sighed, holding his head in his hands. "…I overheard the commotion. I came down to break it up, but… well…"

"…Here we are." I finished for him. "Doopliss, get your butt working on that machine."

"Aye aye, captain!" Doopliss chirped as he returned to fixing the beamer.

**Doopliss gained the title of 'Techno Geek'! His knowledge of technology is unmatched, but often it can lead him to trouble or possibly to his grave. Of course, we all think the second option is most likely.**

"That's the only lead we have as to Lloyd's whereabouts… I guess I might as well kick back and play something." Immediately, the Gamecube began to whir, as if it had heard me. "What in…? TURN IT ON!!!" I quickly pressed the power button on my TV and caught the end of the GCN logo moving. It began to spin wildly, more than it normally would. "Hey you guys, check this out…" I mumbled. Doopliss was occupied with the beamer, so I urged Kratos and Rayman to look at the screen. They did, and it wasn't long before the three of us gasped.

Lloyd was _inside_ the cube that you see when there's no game disk inside.

"Lloyd?!" Kratos gasped. However, it was apparent that Lloyd couldn't see or hear us.

"Whoa… Where am I…?" Lloyd mumbled. I immediately grabbed the controller and moved to the 'Games' option. And it said…

"…Harvest Moon?!" I gasped. "You can't be serious!"

"…But I thought Ocarina of Time was the last thing we played…" Rayman mumbled.

"Yeah yeah, I know." I grunted. "I'm switching game disks."

And thus, the perilous quest to save Lloyd from my evil Gamecube begins…

* * *

En: Where am I in this?! T.T

Me: Relax, you're coming in next chapter. I just had to set things up.

En: (Sniffles) You hate me! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Me: Oh, quit your whining! Or do you want me to make you sit next to Rayman instead of Kratos when we start hardcore gaming?!

En: …Review!

Me: That's what I thought…

(NOTE: The reason why there were slashes in Lloyd's dialogue is because it was censored. That's how I'm going to censor those things from here on out.)


End file.
